I have no idea still why so many cultural critics and gatekeepers of photography are intent on walking this medium off another cliff with Generative AI as they already helped throw our current photo landscape into crisis starting ten years ago giving themselves over vicariously to Facebook/Instagram. All print magazines shuttered and websites and abandoned one of the most interesting and free vehicles, blogs. So many are complicit in this not for nefarious purposes but the neglect. Yet we could learn a lesson and not throw it off course yet again with embracing Generative AI. And you absolutely do not get to say Photoshop is the same thing nor dare compare it to collage or digital art. But this is not what has happened. Now there are institutions and classes and degrees and teachers happy to push this along. All in the name of 'look at this neat trick.'

It's maddening but so many people lap it up with thousands of likes and starry eyed comments (though I do enjoy when regular people in comments on Instagram push back) and 'it's just like when painters were upset about the invention of the camera’? No this is devastating. And I'm not even talking about art here which it is devastating for, nor the environment which it is also devastating for, but even more important and this is a very important part of art is the caring about a semblance of the stability of society and people's collective well being. Is it "fun" to put a tool out into the universe that people can make fake photos and videos of people who didn't do the things that are in the images but no one can tell if it's real or not? Photography is really shattered and it's not because of this disastrous Generative AI tool and social media algorithms, but the people who are the heads of this medium embrace of all of it and demand little or no guardrails. With no second guessing of the disaster they have co-signed in the name of art.

(August 24, 2024) *just gotten worse

The political hypocrisy, the hope, the misery, the mystery

I can't say that I can't believe we are here again, because I always thought it was a possibility for the past almost decade. Yet while I'm not in denial it's the knowing of we are all going to get what's coming, in some form besides an equivalent of a handful of elite vultures compared to everyone else. I think there will be denial amongst the believers until the very end and the rewriting of history. In Trump's first term I remember a journalist on twitter writing it would be like the alternate history of the confederacy that occurred. The person I fear most for the most damage will be RFK Jr. In case you need a reason to not sleep at night, raise your blood pressure, the excuse to break free to run away off the grid, or punch a hole in the wall you can look at the hateful stupid dystopia simmering in the CDC's Facebook comments in two recent posts. One about the bird flu and another about Covid. 

I truly believe in caring for one another and community and fighting for others as my political philosophy, however you do have to be realistic in protecting yourself from others or filtering the harm they can cause in your life. To save yourself as a human being. You must care for yourself because...well you've seen it and lived it and others have for centuries, people are a hypocritical mess. We are in a radicalized time though not sure many people will understand what that will look like (or get what's actually going on) when the people who are going to be in power very soon go to smash and recreate this place in what can be described as darkness. Who will be the fighters against the visions, the collaborators, the people who will pretend nothing is really too different, the people who tell you to keep your head down and mouth shut. The predictable ones who will say it's all part of a greater plan to make so and so great again and you are actually the enemy questioning. Who will be the ones that when it clicks what is taking place 'oh this isn't what I signed up for' or 'Wait what's going on?  and what will they do? People think hate won this election when it was apathy and inertia as the larger aspect. However what will the narrative be going forward because the other side believe they have won the war and the fun for them is about to get started.

To untangle and fight against the monstrosity ahead you must believe something inside you is worth preserving. No one else can do that for us. Otherwise if you feel insignificant (you still have to pull at something inside yourself and connect to it or you will psychologically die) you must also believe their is something about people, about humanity, our collective wellbeing worthwhile, whatever scrap. Whatever yearning, hope, or memory. Whatever thing or object. The water, the insects, the planet, books, a cat that needs your attention, the clouds, music, food you are making for dinner for a loved one, art, the plant that needs to be watered in the windowsill, that is worth surviving and fighting for. No one can decide what that is for you, you may only realize once you think or feel it out and the spark hits. At least I'm not looking to go down in apathy. I've lived once upon a time in what seemed to be a never ending stream of suicidal ideations for many years. It's been so long that I don't remember that person much but I know I survived.

I mean I'm no prophet or hero yet fuck fear. We live here too.

A woman's body is never one's own business. So we are taught. God forbid a state of possible pregnancy, pregnancy, disability, fatness, sickness, transness, wearing sweats, femininity, make-up free aging. Growing up where everyone is staring and growing old and everyone turns away. Your body is policed from society, community, and your own internal voice you've been programmed into. As long as you have doubts about your physical presence that can keep you down from trying to have some self determination, confidence and freedom right? 

I saw a tweet yesterday about how we had this era of women and now it is the time of men. Yeah no. The world does not run without us. The labor economy (physical and the uncompensated emotional labor to get people through the day) would collapse without our participation. The world would cease to function. Now the OP was trying to say this not from a celebratory reactionary framework but out of fear. And yes there is much to fear. Anyone telling you that is overblown or isn't especially true for women now is a fool, in denial or dangerous. But we're here. The powers that be and those happy to try and control us will be on a tear cheering our unhappiness, torture and demise but ultimately it's a fight never to be won. We are too important. That's why they hate us, want us, desire and fear us. We exist outside of what men have and they know it. They will never forgive that we are not trapped in the spiderweb of 24/7 first person patriarchal crisis and a fatality lens killing them. Like a Being John Malkovich situation. I mean you see some of how they post online and act in person. Read first person accounts throughout history and fictional depictions. Absorb family stories, friendships' and lovers' confessions and after all this evidence does that seem like a segment of people who overall are having a good time? Some are, I don't mean to position them as all helpless victims without agency, without an unfortunate amount who do hope to victimize others because of their desire to control women. And if they can't dominate they would rather hurt and maybe kill them. You will be called a man hater but statistics and experience are our greatest strength and knowledge.

I don't want men's hierarchal and domineering mindset. I don't want their rage, despair, paranoia, and the madness they possess of not knowing themselves. To summarize while men have societal advantages and privileges (though those can shift around and not a one and done and across the board for all men), I think men have a shitshow. I don't look on enviously and think 'Wow look at them they got such a good deal!' With high rates of violence physically and psychologically inflicted on those they know and violence inflicted internally that many times ends in suicide, I'm not sure that's the equality or freedom women should be looking for. There are many challenges being a woman but I wouldn't trade this, not for anything. There is mental freedom from knowing I don't have these burdens that eat men alive and drive many of them in shame to live being never truly close to anyone. A panic reflex toward self reflection if that meant changing anything and a paralysis to be vulnerable and open even if it means survival. They'd rather die quietly inside. I want a better life than that existence. People deserve a better life than that finality.

Imagine being so cruel and miserable you still go into the Parkland survivors social media pages to harass them and tell them they are stupid for not wanting to die by gun violence? Which they wanted to advocate for because they survived a mass shooting at their school. Imagine being a fucking loser and low life like that? Imagine that these people are all around us? I know Hogg has talked about attempts on his life through swatting. That hyena conspiracy cabbage patch congresswoman followed him and made thinly veiled threats that she had a gun in her bag. But the right can get away with just about anything and get elected and rewarded. 

It reminds me of someone I was friends with when I was younger whom I immediately unfollowed from a volatile post they made against the Parkland kids  early on when the protests occurred. Written as one of those first person social media outbursts we all see, that most of us have done toward someone who would never hear us back. The wording was brief but its tone was as if this person had been in the room with the Parkland kids, being cornered with them and they were demanding for the person to hand their gun over. 

I hate being reminded of all the cruelty we know of people around us, in our orbit and those we care for. That no matter our concern and affection for the people we are attached to who are this way, it will not be an elixir as much as we don't want to believe that. It took me many years and many people I felt I lost and did lose to finally accept that. All the hateful people we don't know that we know. 

I think to hang on to so much psychological attachment to a gun as some of these people do, there must be an intense fear of death and the inevitability of it. That it's not merely some macho posturing but life terrifies you deep down every day, yet you are afraid of death even more. You're going to fight against every second, every breath, every inch of this inescapable reality. And no one is going to get in your way for your right to kill someone and anyone out of this fear of death manifested. You get to be the killer before death comes knocking on your door one day. 

All the hateful people, all the rage full ones, and all the fearful and tired ones that our love can't heal or do anything about this specific electric current inside them that keeps their souls haunted.

How real and pure.

You see it right? Come on people get to work on a play and screenplay for her. I see it in my head, please let her be who she wants, whose been waiting to come out and birthed. Oh my god I just thought of a great pairing with someone else who needed to escape (and did) to find who she was meant to be as actress after years being caged, Elizabeth Olsen. If that town cared more about Criterion and TCM than Marvel and Disney, what beauty we could all experience or at least some worthwhile experiments.

😭

I mean I don't have any answers or people I know who could even influence what my sentiments are but we can't lose the youth to fascism that's malpractice and inexcusable. How many voted? How many sat out, how many switched? How many are you going to see pass by and let the future fall out of all our fucking grasping hands? The kids that were getting beaten by police during Floyd protests? The kids sympathizing and angry for the annihilation of Gaza? Those being dragged away in protests because they have come to believe for liberation of a people the world refused to stand up for, for decades, by seeing a genocide from their phones that everyone positions they are poisoned and deadened by and mindless and brainless all is lost? The youth who actually know what capitalism is and can see the world through social media that the ruling powers don't care for them, won't do shit for climate? 

They know deep down they were abandoned during the greatest health crisis in a 100 years by government, corporations and community, no matter what these media people crying about some fake lockdown and masks that never came to be doing massive brain damage. Letting present history get rewritten in real time I'm tired of that. This youth that had such a high acceptance of LGBTQ than any other time period and we are suppose to just forget all of that? You're going to throw them away to be cogs in the machine and be at behest of fascists roaming the digital landscape? Once again Andrew Tate and trad wife TikTok are not stronger than you as a people who know young people to help out and influence in the long run in your fucking lives. Stop positioning these cultural trends and figureheads as invincible villains and inevitabilities. Culture is malleable and ever changing. The past decade has shown that average people are bendable, they can change or they can sit out. I'm not sure if anyone will learn though. You may lose but you will always lose if you rescind in advance.

I will always hate Biden for running again and letting Trump able to get back in, though I will hate him for Gaza most of all because when you see the images and videos out of Gaza they should make a rational and reasonable person never to stop wanting to (redacted) him and his monstrous foreign policy team. You know like Anthony Bourdain said about Kissinger type sentiment. By the way Bourdain was a huge supporter of Palestinians and did a beautiful segment on them. 

We are too trained to give passes to those in power because we are conditioned to believe we could be those people in power who are put in a position to make "difficult" decisions because hypothetically in this fantasy there is no black and white lines only grey. And that is what they sell us and plenty of people have been buying it without a second thought for centuries.

Besides my anger at Biden, I will always have some anger at Dem primary 2020 voters and yet that anger may be surpassed if the early polling appetite for Harris to be nominee in 2028, can you fucking imagine? People say it's too early but we have to test the waters to expose the ugliness and stupidity to have any chance to try and stop such a disastrous decision. 

Who knows what elections will look like in four years, though the Republicans will want to have some of them because they'd like to grab some more power even if Trump would like to get rid of elections altogether and crown himself king. However on top of this possible nightmare of Harris as nominee, we in PA have to contend with the morally grotesque Democrat asshole in this senate seat that is at risk now. Will people choose fear over rational and pick Harris as some political revenge fantasy? The Democratic primary voters did something similar with Biden, though that was comfort over change. Aka 'Not Bernie we need to be pragmatic!'

It really has to be someone on the outside of sorts not really thought of yet. Too bad about Walz. 

Another few weeks till the cheerleading pain dial becomes president. A decade of this bullshit worse than before. He's already starting by trying to shut down the government before he can even begin his smash and grab administration.

😞 

I am so disturbed all these photographers excited about Generative AI and people trying to hype back up NFTs? Artists can't resist the destruction of the planet and society's well-being if it takes away from a shiny tool they want to do whatever they want with because they believe in individualism and freedom of self-expression at the expense of everyone and everything else. What a rot that has formed among photographers and artists. Bleak for the future.

Something that is misguided from very well meaning liberal/progressive/left/pro choice people who comment that it's men who are wanting rules & laws to force women & girls into giving birth, is that some of the most active & hardcore voices in the forced birth movement are & have been women

Also to note while people who aren't women can go through pregnancy, the forced birth movement is not interested in ALL people giving birth. Over time this will become more apparent as they attempt to police, surveillance & restrict the "undesirables" from reproducing.

Already happens to disabled people but will be broadened as the blanket terminology of who the "undesirables" & "unfit" are that we need to get a handle on & control spreads in mainstream discourse. Attempts will be made to make this language & goal acceptable & palpable to the public. 

What will be the response when in the past few years in this Covid world so many have been thrown away & cast out to the wolves at the mercy of government neglect, business exploitation, & other's personal comfort? I'm unfortunately skeptical because of the left's mass failure to confront this.

If reproductive care & abortion rights which is self determination & liberation of the self & from systems to weigh down & exploit are seen as a side issues or 'it's matter of fact but don't need to write articles about it in our leftist publications, leave that to the annoying liberal platforms'Then what are we even doing? Also if wearing a mask is so difficult or seen as a side issue, what will possibly be this mass radical arrangement of coming together look like in real practice not just our wildest dreams & hopeful imaginations?

So does anyone else find it curious how Google has been dismantling information off it's search engines for past couple years (and if you haven't been paying attention it's undeniable now) and wondering what are they doing? Pour a glass of water out for every time you type in the Google search engine because the Generative AI that pops out unprompted is destroying our home (the planet, though no one should own the internet). Why do they want to take away the enjoyment of the internet from us? Is it just the Neo-liberalism? The tech fash vultures won't let the peasants have fun and free information and communication. It's eerily a perfect storm of an opportunity for an authoritarian government to take advantage of. Wow almost got worried there for a moment. I'm glad the American public has such a vast number of highly politically engaged and critically thinking and most of all thoughtful individuals. Whom are interested and invested in not only an abstract idea but the actual practice of collective wellbeing for society and one another, that they would never let an awful reality like that befall them. I'm so ever thankful we haven't had any recent consequential elections to put this to the test...

For a brief moment in the universe a man who lived to make millions of dollars in profit for himself and assist the healthcare industry in their daily manifestations to consistently and unapologetically bring harm and suffering to those in need, to those sick, to those disabled, to those desperate, to those destitute, to those who felt suffering was all there was left in this life, experienced a rare occurrence. Karma.

Glad to be vindicated of my read on the big dummy conspiracy brained podcaster. Never trust those who would remain friends with Alex Jones and promote them on their large platforms. What's going on now, with new enthusiastic support even rewriting their own personal history is also a business and money decision we are not privy to with his dealings with Musk and Thiel, *Dana White.* Working toward long term investments and influence. While was already on the reactionary railway for past few years, ever since the Spotify contract he has jumped quite a bit. You think with that long term exposure, history and posting it's all coincidence with how trained he is in media and entertainment? With all the people paid in his orbit? He's a big dummy but not that big a one. You have to be smarter this isn't your friend hanging out on the couch getting high with. You are nothing but audience and money. So those who hope to analyze him for some post election take away or political insights won't have any luck. Go talk to the young men kids lugging the grocery shopping carts around to bring back into the store. An important, sincere conversation and connection with you will be more lasting and impactful politically than these young men on their own trying to recall what the podcast dummy said on his 2 months back in a haze.

*(Dec. 15, 2024) How could I have missed this? The connection to one of Trump biggest supporters Dana White whom Rogan has had a very long and money making friendship with. Makes even better sense than Musk connection. I wonder the scheme is probably some bullshit wellness and health related scamming with crypto. 

There is no class first for women if there is no bodily anatomy with reproductive choices. There is no level playing field without self determination for women and others to have choices over their reproductive lives. I don’t understand how leftist women with a class first lens can’t see it. Why is abortion rights a sort of accessory trinket issue to some of you? If you think this some boutique brunch white Democrat liberal after thought you don't have it in you. Grow some skin and spine. Sharpen your teeth and nails. We are on the menu and you don't have a plan to not let us boil in their pot.

"We ought to just chill out for a while."

 

In case you're wondering about DNC elites possessing self refection. From the one of the handful of people who led us into this moment with his consequential decisions of the past four and a half years of Biden and Harris picks.

Remember when he said 'Maybe we're meant to go into authoritarianism' a couple years ago? I never forget.

America has a lot of tragedy up it’s sleeve

I see optimism of the flood of new and wrong info that did not correlate to my past writings that she could lose that there was an eerie sense and while I saw signs on the roadways when got back they did not materialize so much on lawns clouded me on my last post back there. One long street that had a bunch of Biden signs in 2020 has been almost dead quiet. So the PA Dems definitely lied about signs they couldn't keep up demand. In past talking to some canvas coordinators they said the campaign was being stingy with giving away too many signs. You know it makes me think about this past Monday where I volunteered to chauffeur people who came in from NYC to help canvas. A man I was talking to who volunteered his time to help organize coming from out of state said he hoped some people would take some of the signs that were still available. But I guess that's the thing, they were still available and trying to off set them. Driving some of the people around I was in more swingy parts of Lehigh Valley and they seemed shell shocked by the normalcy of Trump flags, banners, and multiple signs on people's lawns. So seeing more of those than Harris I should have just not gone on twitter and look for some hope. When I'd talk with multiple people over past couple months I seemed to be one of the rare cautious reads of the race. Anyway a lot of words to say it is all so very tragic and we haven't even begun what that will look like. What will begin in a few months that will reverberate for years. Biden was the death blow overall. I need a long break politically*, cause the weight of the world without a pause will not help me in what I need to do and who I remain to be. 

*(March 19, 2025, dear reader she did not take a break politically in the slightest and continued her rumblings and musings, maybe in the future? Likely not? Impearance is our existence though.) 

I have seen the glory of the Selzer poll...where do the vibes go from here?

I have seen the glory of the Selzer poll...where do the vibes go from here?

trails of thought....

Well Harris finally heard my pleas & is coming for a rally tomorrow in Allentown just found out a couple hours ago. It's one up on Trump also. I will be driving around canvasers from out of state. Hope traffic be ok 🧐 

Also just got back being away and there is lots of new signs🧐

I don't know if I'm glad to be proven right on how the past couple years there has been signs of big business, wealthy elite vultures, the press, and tech overlords to push Trump on us. The last couple weeks it's never been clearer. 

There is a swell of signs in my area since was away, momentum is high and ground game is hard and the annihilator is running on his base being aggrieved to vote covering up his weaknesses. At least Harris campaign isn't taking anything for granted* the way Hillary did and even Biden in 2020. Our problems with a win are still ever present and deadly for humanity and all life on this fragile planet. But fucking let's at least not add this problem to the wreckage. 

Trying not to doom or have hopium though obsessed with libbing out last couple days seeing Iowa Selzer poll. Whatever happens let's keep the momentum to building a better world because the other side is hell bent on making a worse one.

* (update Dec. 18, 2024) Oh dear reader of course they did, not only in the post mortem articles but wasn't it obvious they would be making other inexcusable mistakes when they disgustingly ignored and basically spit on and told Muslim, Arabic and Palestinian voters to eat shit if they didn't get in line and vote for them. They emphasized this in Michigan of all places? Over a billion dollars blown. At least I don't have an embarrassing number of these kinds of posts, 90% was more of 'danger, danger' signals and expressions. 

"Now we are a 150 feet from the promised land."

I wanted the opportunity to feel was these people have in store for me. You can describe a megachurch or a Halloween haunted house but it is an entirely another thing to experience it in person. I wanted to feel the sensation of being submerged into listening to the people who are dictating a dark future and the people surrounding you eating it up, cheering it on. It was at capacity so I only got to stand in line for an hour. The crowd did feel like people anticipating a savior. And the man who blurted out as we moved up in the street "Now we are 150 feet  to the promised land," confirmed that. The photo is from when we were told no one else was being taken in and it was the end of the road. I admit I feel a lot of anger and disgust at his supporters at times but besides the well off and wealthy I mostly just felt sorry for them. Not that they are all being hoodwinked but that for anyone to look at what he is selling and be 'That's good! Sign me up!' What a waste. Life has to be mean more than that to you right?

I feel trapped in an existential and material battle as an artist in this time period. An era in the culture that wants to take artists down swiftly and expect them to put up no resistance or there will be bloodshed of these artists' livelihoods, dreams, hopes, prospects. You know what keeps artists going. The narrative getting shoved and pounded is that artists are inconvenient. As if artists never really meant anything and never have, the machines will take care of that now. Get back to work peasants, climate change debris ain't going to clean itself up. 

Those possibilities presented over ten years ago of the digital landscape are being stomped out I cannot believe how much I let myself miss. Yet once the ruling tech vultures and capitalists saw people were enjoying too much art, interesting thoughts, and connections, they couldn't let that continue. You can't connect ideas, art, and helpful back and forth supporting others out and informing them of ways to make the world better! They have money to make and they demand loyalty to all your time and attention working to make them more money asap. I think a very difficult thing in this moment is while artists have the strength of imagination to intellectually go Battle Royale against this disaster, I don't believe many have the actual willpower to fight fight.

The internet and social media needed to be monetized to death and made unusable and make everyone who inhabits these terrains feel bad and hopeless. There are a couple social media accounts I have that I am able to curate that escape this plight for now. I worry that the right will scorch and whittle away those sections of Instagram they have not infiltrated. The AIDS Memorial page still up is pretty amazing that is allowed with how things are being pushed. It's also more independent, alternative accounts. Like an internet version of those eclectic old thrift, vintage, book, odd and oddity shops that got pushed and gutted for gentrification. Also independent artists and creative people doing their talented thing, cutting past all the doomerism so they can make, live, share and connect. Generative AI is a house of cards but that will take awhile. Tech freaks aren't going to write themselves out of existence and funding.

There was a very good tweet awhile back of mentioning how convenient the machines can get the luxury of writing poetry.

@KarlreMarks

Humans doing the hard jobs on minimum wage while the robots write poetry and paint 

is not the future I wanted 

What are we even doing when reproductive rights isn't a red line, that it is acceptable to watch disappear and banned nationally and the people supporting Harris for this are labeled genocide enablers and psychopaths? People don't understand that this current form of the left of 2015-2024 (there is no manger just fracturing, tense and loose threads) is unsustainable and ready to break apart completely and fold onto itself. The irony poisoning, doom pilling, 'the liberals are the actual great evil,' any electoralism is just fascism apologia empire staning is not where people are in the real world and it just won't hold. People aren't looking to jump in or let political infighting into their already busy and chaotic lives. Now neither will people who don't want to be talked down to like everything is actually ok which I know people get turned off by everything is great actually and stop complaining Dem messaging optics.

Yet you are not a coward caring for other rights eroded here and voting cause of that, voting cause you don't want Trump back in is not weak shit. Saying he's not going to be worse certainly is though. Did you fall on your head and get amnesia? Whatever is in these politician's hearts or not it doesn't matter only ground movement and its influence matters. Then people say well it will just be swallowed, defanged and co-opted and sure there is risks but if the risk ain't any form of power or influence than what are we even doing? Just hanging out in the twitter drafts and dog piling. When women who you need to help run these movements are busy bleeding out on the floor your going to tell them that was their noble sacrifice? Some women are going to say that to themselves? The worst is seeing women talk like reproductive rights ain't shit to fight or vote for. Hello people this is the coalition issue of our time, organize.

Incredibly dark and dangerous for the left/progressives to be so divided and organizer types publicly feuding and dog piling on decaying platform run by a nazi. Saw a leftists tweet about how he wasn't voting because of Gaza yet saying how he didn't feel abortion was so important in contrast to the genocide in Gaza!!??? OPEN THE SCHOOLS!!! (Yet I'm not surprised seeing some leftist men doing this. In a separate tweet incident a prominent enough writer in these circles I like who talked about working for abortion rights in past says Gaza is his red line also) And I'm telling you it needs to be studied how liberal and/or moderate men are being more helpful on reproductive rights seeing it as a non negotiable. I'm sorry I say this as a die hard lefty but I see it online, is it that I'm too online? These are not bots but at least CHAT GPT would understand the consequences. 

What was worse a woman in the first tweet example was agreeing with him that abortion and reproductive rights that it felt so small and inconsequential for a hypothetical ????

I thought man we are so cooked. 

That we weren't out in the streets after Roe was taken away with general strike calls is one of the greatest failures of missed political call to actions in the 21st century. Was talking to a woman recently about this and she was baffled emotionally of the lack of organizational response in mass protest, but then thought out loud maybe it was a better grown up decision because of other failed long term mass protests but I said no it's ok to admit that this was a massive failure and she agreed.

There was one group who had more militant protest actions in the beginning after Roe was struck down, but one member of it had a lot of odd controversy and the group was disavowed swiftly and publicly by multiple orgs. Yet nobody did any kind of militant action again. It's unforgivable.