I can't say that I can't believe we are here again, because I always thought it was a possibility for the past almost decade. Yet while I'm not in denial it's the knowing of we are all going to get what's coming, in some form besides an equivalent of a handful of elite vultures compared to everyone else. I think there will be denial amongst the believers until the very end and the rewriting of history. In Trump's first term I remember a journalist on twitter writing it would be like the alternate history of the confederacy that occurred. The person I fear most for the most damage will be RFK Jr. In case you need a reason to not sleep at night, raise your blood pressure, the excuse to break free to run away off the grid, or punch a hole in the wall you can look at the hateful stupid dystopia simmering in the CDC's Facebook comments in two recent posts. One about the bird flu and another about Covid.
I truly believe in caring for one another and community and fighting for others as my political philosophy, however you do have to be realistic in protecting yourself from others or filtering the harm they can cause in your life. To save yourself as a human being. You must care for yourself because...well you've seen it and lived it and others have for centuries, people are a hypocritical mess. We are in a radicalized time though not sure many people will understand what that will look like (or get what's actually going on) when the people who are going to be in power very soon go to smash and recreate this place in what can be described as darkness. Who will be the fighters against the visions, the collaborators, the people who will pretend nothing is really too different, the people who tell you to keep your head down and mouth shut. The predictable ones who will say it's all part of a greater plan to make so and so great again and you are actually the enemy questioning. Who will be the ones that when it clicks what is taking place 'oh this isn't what I signed up for' or 'Wait what's going on? and what will they do? People think hate won this election when it was apathy and inertia as the larger aspect. However what will the narrative be going forward because the other side believe they have won the war and the fun for them is about to get started.
To untangle and fight against the monstrosity ahead you must believe something inside you is worth preserving. No one else can do that for us. Otherwise if you feel insignificant (you still have to pull at something inside yourself and connect to it or you will psychologically die) you must also believe their is something about people, about humanity, our collective wellbeing worthwhile, whatever scrap. Whatever yearning, hope, or memory. Whatever thing or object. The water, the insects, the planet, books, a cat that needs your attention, the clouds, music, food you are making for dinner for a loved one, art, the plant that needs to be watered in the windowsill, that is worth surviving and fighting for. No one can decide what that is for you, you may only realize once you think or feel it out and the spark hits. At least I'm not looking to go down in apathy. I've lived once upon a time in what seemed to be a never ending stream of suicidal ideations for many years. It's been so long that I don't remember that person much but I know I survived.
I mean I'm no prophet or hero yet fuck fear. We live here too.