The political hypocrisy, the hope, the misery, the mystery

I can't say that I can't believe we are here again, because I always thought it was a possibility for the past almost decade. Yet while I'm not in denial it's the knowing of we are all going to get what's coming, in some form besides an equivalent of a handful of elite vultures compared to everyone else. I think there will be denial amongst the believers until the very end and the rewriting of history. In Trump's first term I remember a journalist on twitter writing it would be like the alternate history of the confederacy that occurred. The person I fear most for the most damage will be RFK Jr. In case you need a reason to not sleep at night, raise your blood pressure, the excuse to break free to run away off the grid, or punch a hole in the wall you can look at the hateful stupid dystopia simmering in the CDC's Facebook comments in two recent posts. One about the bird flu and another about Covid. 

I truly believe in caring for one another and community and fighting for others as my political philosophy, however you do have to be realistic in protecting yourself from others or filtering the harm they can cause in your life. To save yourself as a human being. You must care for yourself because...well you've seen it and lived it and others have for centuries, people are a hypocritical mess. We are in a radicalized time though not sure many people will understand what that will look like (or get what's actually going on) when the people who are going to be in power very soon go to smash and recreate this place in what can be described as darkness. Who will be the fighters against the visions, the collaborators, the people who will pretend nothing is really too different, the people who tell you to keep your head down and mouth shut. The predictable ones who will say it's all part of a greater plan to make so and so great again and you are actually the enemy questioning. Who will be the ones that when it clicks what is taking place 'oh this isn't what I signed up for' or 'Wait what's going on?  and what will they do? People think hate won this election when it was apathy and inertia as the larger aspect. However what will the narrative be going forward because the other side believe they have won the war and the fun for them is about to get started.

To untangle and fight against the monstrosity ahead you must believe something inside you is worth preserving. No one else can do that for us. Otherwise if you feel insignificant (you still have to pull at something inside yourself and connect to it or you will psychologically die) you must also believe their is something about people, about humanity, our collective wellbeing worthwhile, whatever scrap. Whatever yearning, hope, or memory. Whatever thing or object. The water, the insects, the planet, books, a cat that needs your attention, the clouds, music, food you are making for dinner for a loved one, art, the plant that needs to be watered in the windowsill, that is worth surviving and fighting for. No one can decide what that is for you, you may only realize once you think or feel it out and the spark hits. At least I'm not looking to go down in apathy. I've lived once upon a time in what seemed to be a never ending stream of suicidal ideations for many years. It's been so long that I don't remember that person much but I know I survived.

I mean I'm no prophet or hero yet fuck fear. We live here too.

The Failure, Fear, And Frenzy around Luigi Mangione

A woman's body is never one's own business. So we are taught. God forbid a state of possible pregnancy, pregnancy, disability, fatness, sickness, transness, wearing sweats, femininity, make-up free aging. Growing up where everyone is staring and growing old and everyone turns away. Your body is policed from society, community, and your own internal voice you've been programmed into. As long as you have doubts about your physical presence that can keep you down from trying to have some self determination, confidence and freedom right? 

I saw a tweet yesterday about how we had this era of women and now it is the time of men. Yeah no. The world does not run without us. The labor economy (physical and the uncompensated emotional labor to get people through the day) would collapse without our participation. The world would cease to function. Now the OP was trying to say this not from a celebratory reactionary framework but out of fear. And yes there is much to fear. Anyone telling you that is overblown or isn't especially true for women now is a fool, in denial or dangerous. But we're here. The powers that be and those happy to try and control us will be on a tear cheering our unhappiness, torture and demise but ultimately it's a fight never to be won. We are too important. That's why they hate us, want us, desire and fear us. We exist outside of what men have and they know it. They will never forgive that we are not trapped in the spiderweb of 24/7 first person patriarchal crisis and a fatality lens killing them. Like a Being John Malkovich situation. I mean you see some of how they post online and act in person. Read first person accounts throughout history and fictional depictions. Absorb family stories, friendships' and lovers' confessions and after all this evidence does that seem like a segment of people who overall are having a good time? Some are, I don't mean to position them as all helpless victims without agency, without an unfortunate amount who do hope to victimize others because of their desire to control women. And if they can't dominate they would rather hurt and maybe kill them. You will be called a man hater but statistics and experience are our greatest strength and knowledge.

I don't want men's hierarchal and domineering mindset. I don't want their rage, despair and paranoia and the madness they posses of not knowing themselves. To summarize while men have societal advantages and privileges (though those can shift around and not a one and done and across the board for all men) I think men have a shitshow. I don't look on enviously and think 'Wow look at them they got such a good deal!' With high rates of violence physically and psychologically inflicted on those they know and violence inflicted internally that many times ends in suicide, I'm not sure that's the equality or freedom women should be looking for. There are many challenges being a woman but I wouldn't trade this, not for anything. There is mental freedom from knowing I don't have these burdens that eat men alive and drive many of them in shame to live being never truly close to anyone. A panic reflex toward self reflection if that meant changing anything and a paralysis to be vulnerable and open even if it means survival. They'd rather die quietly inside. I want a better life than that existence. People deserve a better life than that finality.

Imagine being so cruel and miserable you still go into the Parkland survivors social media pages to harass them and tell them they are stupid for not wanting to die by gun violence? Which they wanted to advocate for because they survived a mass shooting at their school. Imagine being a fucking loser and low life like that? Imagine that these people are all around us? I know Hogg has talked about attempts on his life through swatting. That hyena conspiracy cabbage patch congresswoman followed him and made thinly veiled threats that she had a gun in her bag. But the right can get away with just about anything and get elected and rewarded. 

It reminds me of someone I was friends with when I was younger whom I immediately unfollowed from a volatile post they made against the Parkland kids  early on when the protests occurred. Written as one of those first person social media outbursts we all see, that most of us have done toward someone who would never hear us back. The wording was brief but its tone was as if this person had been in the room with the Parkland kids, being cornered with them and they were demanding for the person to hand their gun over. 

I hate being reminded of all the cruelty we know of people around us, in our orbit and those we care for. That no matter our concern and affection for the people we are attached to who are this way, it will not be an elixir as much as we don't want to believe that. It took me many years and many people I felt I lost and did lose to finally accept that. All the hateful people we don't know that we know. 

I think to hang on to so much psychological attachment to a gun as some of these people do, there must be an intense fear of death and the inevitability of it. That it's not merely some macho posturing but life terrifies you deep down every day, yet you are afraid of death even more. You're going to fight against every second, every breath, every inch of this inescapable reality. And no one is going to get in your way for your right to kill someone and anyone out of this fear of death manifested. You get to be the killer before death comes knocking on your door one day. 

All the hateful people, all the rage full ones, and all the fearful and tired ones that our love can't heal or do anything about this specific electric current inside them that keeps their souls haunted.

How real and pure.

You see it right? Come on people get to work on a play and screenplay for her. I see it in my head, please let her be who she wants, whose been waiting to come out and birthed. Oh my god I just thought of a great pairing with someone else who needed to escape (and did) to find who she was meant to be as actress after years being caged, Elizabeth Olsen. If that town cared more about Criterion and TCM than Marvel and Disney, what beauty we could all experience or at least some worthwhile experiments.

😭

I mean I don't have any answers or people I know who could even influence what my sentiments are but we can't lose the youth to fascism that's malpractice and inexcusable. How many voted? How many sat out, how many switched? How many are you going to see pass by and let the future fall out of all our fucking grasping hands? The kids that were getting beaten by police during Floyd protests? The kids sympathizing and angry for the annihilation of Gaza? Those being dragged away in protests because they have come to believe for liberation of a people the world refused to stand up for, for decades, by seeing a genocide from their phones that everyone positions they are poisoned and deadened by and mindless and brainless all is lost? The youth who actually know what capitalism is and can see the world through social media that the ruling powers don't care for them, won't do shit for climate? 

They know deep down they were abandoned during the greatest health crisis in a 100 years by government, corporations and community, no matter what these media people crying about some fake lockdown and masks that never came to be doing massive brain damage. Letting present history get rewritten in real time I'm tired of that. This youth that had such a high acceptance of LGBTQ than any other time period and we are suppose to just forget all of that? You're going to throw them away to be cogs in the machine and be at behest of fascists roaming the digital landscape? Once again Andrew Tate and trad wife TikTok are not stronger than you as a people who know young people to help out and influence in the long run in your fucking lives. Stop positioning these cultural trends and figureheads as invincible villains and inevitabilities. Culture is malleable and ever changing. The past decade has shown that average people are bendable, they can change or they can sit out. I'm not sure if anyone will learn though. You may lose but you will always lose if you rescind in advance.

I will always hate Biden for running again and letting Trump able to get back in, though I will hate him for Gaza most of all because when you see the images and videos out of Gaza they should make a rational and reasonable person never to stop wanting to (redacted) him and his monstrous foreign policy team. You know like Anthony Bourdain said about Kissinger type sentiment. By the way Bourdain was a huge supporter of Palestinians and did a beautiful segment on them. 

We are too trained to give passes to those in power because we are conditioned to believe we could be those people in power who are put in a position to make "difficult" decisions because hypothetically in this fantasy there is no black and white lines only grey. And that is what they sell us and plenty of people have been buying it without a second thought for centuries.

Besides my anger at Biden, I will always have some anger at Dem primary 2020 voters and yet that anger may be surpassed if the early polling appetite for Harris to be nominee in 2028, can you fucking imagine? People say it's too early but we have to test the waters to expose the ugliness and stupidity to have any chance to try and stop such a disastrous decision. 

Who knows what elections will look like in four years, though the Republicans will want to have some of them because they'd like to grab some more power even if Trump would like to get rid of elections altogether and crown himself king. However on top of this possible nightmare of Harris as nominee, we in PA have to contend with the morally grotesque Democrat asshole in this senate seat that is at risk now. Will people choose fear over rational and pick Harris as some political revenge fantasy? The Democratic primary voters did something similar with Biden, though that was comfort over change. Aka 'Not Bernie we need to be pragmatic!'

It really has to be someone on the outside of sorts not really thought of yet. Too bad about Walz. 

Another few weeks till the cheerleading pain dial becomes president. A decade of this bullshit worse than before. He's already starting by trying to shut down the government before he can even begin his smash and grab administration.

😞 

I am so disturbed all these photographers excited about Generative AI and people trying to hype back up NFTs? Artists can't resist the destruction of the planet and society's well-being if it takes away from a shiny tool they want to do whatever they want with because they believe in individualism and freedom of self-expression at the expense of everyone and everything else. What a rot that has formed among photographers and artists. Bleak for the future.

 

Something that is misguided from very well meaning liberal/progressive/left/pro choice people who comment that it's men who are wanting rules & laws to force women & girls into giving birth, is that some of the most active & hardcore voices in the forced birth movement are & have been women

Also to note while people who aren't women can go through pregnancy, the forced birth movement is not interested in ALL people giving birth. Over time this will become more apparent as they attempt to police, surveillance & restrict the "undesirables" from reproducing.

Already happens to disabled people but will be broadened as the blanket terminology of who the "undesirables" & "unfit" are that we need to get a handle on & control spreads in mainstream discourse. Attempts will be made to make this language & goal acceptable & palpable to the public. 

What will be the response when in the past few years in this Covid world so many have been thrown away & cast out to the wolves at the mercy of government neglect, business exploitation, & other's personal comfort? I'm unfortunately skeptical because of the left's mass failure to confront this.

If reproductive care & abortion rights which is self determination & liberation of the self & from systems to weigh down & exploit are seen as a side issues or 'it's matter of fact but don't need to write articles about it in our leftist publications, leave that to the annoying liberal platforms'Then what are we even doing? Also if wearing a mask is so difficult or seen as a side issue, what will possibly be this mass radical arrangement of coming together look like in real practice not just our wildest dreams & hopeful imaginations?

So does anyone else find it curious how Google has been dismantling information off it's search engines for past couple years (and if you haven't been paying attention it's undeniable now) and wondering what are they doing? Pour a glass of water out for every time you type in the Google search engine because the Generative AI that pops out unprompted is destroying our home (the planet, though no one should own the internet). Why do they want to take away the enjoyment of the internet from us? Is it just the Neo-liberalism? The tech fash vultures won't let the peasants have fun and free information and communication. It's eerily a perfect storm of an opportunity for an authoritarian government to take advantage of. Wow almost got worried there for a moment. I'm glad the American public has such a vast number of highly politically engaged and critically thinking and most of all thoughtful individuals. Whom are interested and invested in not only an abstract idea but the actual practice of collective wellbeing for society and one another, that they would never let an awful reality like that befall them. I'm so ever thankful we haven't had any recent consequential elections to put this to the test...

 

"theory's cool, but theory with no practice ain't shit." -Fred Hampton

IF I MUST DIE

 

If I must die, 

you must live 

to tell my story 

to sell my things 

to buy a piece of cloth 

and some strings, 

(make it white with a long tail) 

so that a child, somewhere in Gaza 

while looking heaven in the eye 

awaiting his dad who left in a blaze— 

and bid no one farewell 

not even to his flesh 

not even to himself— 

sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up above 

and thinks for a moment an angel is there 

bringing back love 

If I must die 

let it bring hope 

let it be a tale

- Refaat Alareer

For a brief moment in the universe a man who lived to make millions of dollars in profit for himself and assist the healthcare industry in their daily manifestations to consistently and unapologetically bring harm and suffering to those in need, to those sick, to those disabled, to those desperate, to those destitute, to those who felt suffering was all there was left in this life, experienced a rare occurrence. Karma.

Glad to be vindicated of my read on the big dummy conspiracy brained podcaster. Never trust those who would remain friends with Alex Jones and promote them on their large platforms. What's going on now, with new enthusiastic support even rewriting their own personal history is also a business and money decision we are not privy to with his dealings with Musk and Thiel, *Dana White.* Working toward long term investments and influence. While was already on the reactionary railway for past few years, ever since the Spotify contract he has jumped quite a bit. You think with that long term exposure, history and posting it's all coincidence with how trained he is in media and entertainment? With all the people paid in his orbit? He's a big dummy but not that big a one. You have to be smarter this isn't your friend hanging out on the couch getting high with. You are nothing but audience and money. So those who hope to analyze him for some post election take away or political insights won't have any luck. Go talk to the young men kids lugging the grocery shopping carts around to bring back into the store. An important, sincere conversation and connection with you will be more lasting and impactful politically than these young men on their own trying to recall what the podcast dummy said on his 2 months back in a haze.

*(Dec. 15, 2024) How could I have missed this? The connection to one of Trump biggest supporters Dana White whom Rogan has had a very long and money making friendship with. Makes even better sense than Musk connection. I wonder the scheme is probably some bullshit wellness and health related scamming with crypto.