There was a girl I photographed last month who I was so excited about to get in touch meet and have the opportunity she granted me. In the car with her friends and at the waterfall, park, deep snow, sun, muddy shoes I thought this feels good again I am on my way... I was trying to find people to photograph for a new project. I have been very unsuccessful at executing recently.
I felt maybe I found a connection and that could lead to other people and with those people make that possible metaphysical connection through my photography one person to me to one another.
Nowadays I feel I can't connect to anyone or anything and it feels that no one wants me to do so.
But she was upset about one photo that my mom liked and a few friends of mine commented and liked also.
I apologized she said it was ok and there was nothing wrong with the photo she liked it but she had a double chin she said. Which was all a very mixed and did not make a lot of sense to me and she has not been back in touch with me.
One photo of her that is very beautiful is one that you don't even see her at all, it is from her back, the outline of a corset tank top she was wearing with baggy chained jeans and the outline of the top it smoothed on her back with light pouring from a door window on milk white skin. I saw the image through the lens and knew I had it. It’s odd because the photo is of her and yet it is a photo that is not of her all at the same time.
I do not know if it reveals anything about her personally or is more metaphoric aesthetic.
It deeply embarrasses me when someone I take a photo of does not like their photo to a point of wanting to remove their identity from it.Another kick in the teeth and knocked to the ground. I’m resisting in not letting my teeth or my breath bite into the atmosphere as the dust becomes all riled up.